Life’s Expectation Gaps
What we expect in life is usually very different from reality.
Take a look at the unexpected happenings in 2022:
“Inflation is at its highest in 40 years.”
“Borrowing costs are ballooning as interest rates go higher and higher.”
“Staffing shortages* appear in certain sectors as Big Techs announce layoffs.”
(*include Santa Clauses!)
Although these issues are financial in nature, it impacts many aspects of our lives.
To explore why we are surprised by these events, we need to define how we develop our expectations.
Our minds form expectations based on past experiences and beliefs. In relationships, we build trust and respect with one another to create a baseline for future action. The more we have in common the deeper the bond and ultimately the higher our expectations.
In economics, money is the medium of exchange to determine value for goods and services. We set expectations on how money will provide us with material goods and experiences. The more money we have we believe the more happiness it will bring.
From a universal perspective, we expect the world to be a better place as we move into the Fourth Industrial Revolution, defined as advances in technology that greatly shape the way we live and work. The digital world is merging with the physical world as we anticipate a whole new way of living.
As long as the results meet or exceed our expectations, we are pleased, satisfied, and happy. However, if being rewarded is the only outcome, it may lead us to believe the good times will never end. Our brains learn and keep track of these “feel good” feelings and give us friendly reminders of what we like.
When the results are not aligned with our expectations, we feel disappointed, angry, and conclude that life is unfair. This is the gap that can lead us down a very dark path…..
Where are our expectations now?
In the past seven decades, we have experienced peacefulness and harmony in most places to the point they are being taken for granted.
Products and services are readily available at our fingertips, thanks to the success of globalization. We are letting social media control our desires, leading our eyeballs to consume more and more. These same messages are repeated in our brains over and over again, creating an endless cycle of wants.
If more is indeed better, then why haven’t we seen happiness breaking a whole new record? Ahhh…economists have a theory for this condition — the Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility. A fancy name meaning the more we own, the less satisfied we feel with each addition.
The current economic challenges are new to us and our minds are not able to keep up with the pace. In the last couple of years, the pandemic increased money printing from governments all over the world. This has created a domino effect, with demand exceeding supply, resulting in inflation returning from hibernation and igniting the interest rate climb.
The last time inflation was an issue in the developed world was in the 1980’s. Since only a small population living now has experienced inflation and high interest rates, most of us are unprepared and shocked by the consequences presented to us now.
Our expectations are determined based on a world without big disorders, therefore, anything that deviates from this state is below our level of tolerance. In truthfulness, our quality of life has improved significantly compared to our ancestors. They had to hunt for food and build shelter to survive. With the advances in technology and medicine, our ancestors cannot imagine the world we live in right now. However, if we ask anyone on the street, they may say they are living in misery.
Keeping our expectations in check
In critical situations, doctors keep our expectations in check, often pointing out the worse case scenarios. This is because doctors understand that we experience a heavy load of emotional pain running on adrenaline when someone we care about is struggling with a severe illness. We are pulled into an immeasurable depth of heartache, with new levels of highs followed by new levels of lows in an endless time loop. The gap between the expected recovery and reality is constantly in a tug-of-war. Doctors understand this pain and try to minimize it by keeping our expectations low.
When we are sick , our goal is to get back to our normal selves and nothing more. Then why do we have moving targets in other aspects of our lives?
In everyday life, no institution is prompting us with messages to keep our expectations in check. It appears the opposite is true — advertisers love to tell us more is better, newer is better, bigger is better and so forth. We are constantly being lured with incentives and feel the fear of missing out. Hence our minds become attached to these expectations until reality steals the show.
Set your own pace
Life is a pendulum swinging back and forth between what we want and what actually happens. Some days it swings in your favour. Other days it changes direction drastically because it has swung too far in the other direction. Life throws us these curveballs but it is up to us to control our minds in order to keep our focus and be realistic.
It is not easy to adjust our expectations to the changing environment. To help us visualize the message, I would like to borrow the phrase we see on train platforms, “Mind the Gap”. These three words remind us gaps will always exist in our lives. It is important to be aware and do something about it before regret sets in. With time, we will see that big problems become smaller problems and smaller problems become non-existent. We will view the world in a different light — the way it was meant to be.
