Modern Moms in Modern Times
To all the mothers in the world, Happy Mother’s Day!
A modern world calls for modern moms.
Some indications times are changing.
Last week a close friend of mine said, “My son’s wedding went really well!”
My reply was, “Congratulations! So everyone had a great time, everything was perfect right?”
“Yes, it was perfect! NO ONE GOT COVID from the wedding!”
Times are indeed different.
So how do we navigate the role of a modern mom?
Let’s dive back into the past for a moment….
It began when TV commercials painted the perfect picture, with a sweet, sound asleep baby in a beautiful crib, surrounded by tranquility.
Ahhhhh…..this scenario is overrated as we all know now!
Remember those days when seeping hot tea was a challenge with our children requiring our attention 24/7?
And our private moments in the washroom were disrupted to the point we forgot to pull up our pants?
What about that lunch date with friends? Right after we placed our meal order the mobile phone started beeping and illuminating “Call from Daycare — Urgent!”
Is this what motherhood is all about? Disruptions and end of freedom?
Enter the teenage years. Hormones in this age group are the usual suspects for misbehaviour. Our children are desperately searching for self-identity. Unfortunately the search is heavily influenced by a new player — ALGORITHMS, defined as computer controls that dictate what you see on social media sites. Algorithms want to take over our parental roles and are drowning out our motherly voices!
If we tolerate with our children’s behaviour our blood pressure gauge will burst and our patient tank will run empty.
If we lecture them on their bad choices, they will stop telling us the truth and only tell us what we want to hear.
For mothers with adult children, first of all, pat yourself on the back for successfully climbing up 18 steps, representing the first 18 years of their lives. As they become young adults, however, our worries never stop — are they self-sufficient, do they require our help, are they okay?
Such dilemma happens over and over again, becoming a wall of worry we can’t seem to shake off…
Now is the time to take a deep breath and remember what is important.
When our children are emotionally lost they need to turn to someone and that someone is YOU — as moms we are available 24/7, 365 days a year to infinity and beyond!
No matter how the world evolves, the role of a mother stays the same. Communication is the key to bonding. Our children will feel safe when they know we will always be there for them, no matter how old they are. Technology may have changed the approach we communicate but the underlying messages of our unconditional love never change.
So how do we communicate as modern moms?
Creating mental storage space by deleting our old ways of communication and habits — unlearn and re-learn is the main ingredient of success.
Texting is the best way to communicate with our children as it only requires a short attention span. Beware of your texting etiquette — don’t try to jam all your thoughts in one text bubble, this will immediately sound an alarm bell indicating a generation gap. Usage of short text bubbles is recommended and new text lingos such as ‘KK’ instead of ‘OK’ will earn you a top spot on the pedestal! Phone calling should be reserved as a last resort. Please don’t take this personally — it has nothing to do with our voices, but rather the disruption and embarrassment it causes. (The irony here is what is the point of having a call button on a phone when it is seldom used?)
Last but not least, we need to stay informed of this world’s ever changing environment. Every industry has been disrupted leading to new ways of performing everyday tasks. Where our children live, how they work, and their goals in life are very different from our generation. The saying,”When I was your age, I did this…” is not relevant anymore. You will find that the more immersed you are in new topics, the more connections you will build with your children.
There is no need to demystify a modern mom. We already possess all the right ingredients. However, it’s up to you how you want to use these ingredients. It takes time and effort, like all the things we do. Through our instincts and unconditional love as mothers, our messages will ultimately find their way into our children’s hearts. The little secrets that only moms know, the unspoken needs that only moms feel — these are the priceless gifts we possess!
